What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
