tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
there is puke in my bra ... again
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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