somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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