Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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