I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
