found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
