and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
