You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
