last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
