I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
how drunk are you?
Several
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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