At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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