dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
