no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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