I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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