Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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