He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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