Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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