so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Bring me that man meat
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
