yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
