Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
