He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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