Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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