I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
