It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
