Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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