i jhust puked up my retainher.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
