i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Who did Billy Mays play for?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
