wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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