ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
