I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
