Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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