she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
