All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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