does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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