Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
