just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
