I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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