Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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