I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
