is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
