Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
