Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
