She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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