there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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