we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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