I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
