I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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