do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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