Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I look better un-naked...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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