i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
