Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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